Coping Mechanisms & The Shame Cloud

Updated: Apr 2, 2020


Entering Week 3 of “Stay at Home” quarantine. What day is it? When was the last time I showered? “Hun, can you bring me another donut from the kitchen?” I know I am not alone in leaning on coping mechanisms during this truly unbelievable time of Global fear, struggle, and uncertainty.


Can you remember your first thought upon hearing your normal routines, financial security, and future plans were TBD indefinitely? My first thought, “Will I still be able to get donuts?!” WTF?!… donuts aren’t even part of my “routine”. So many ACTUAL important things to worry about, but the red flags waved and I was running into the arms of Sugar… soon my priorities twisted into a hot mess of my classic coping mechanisms. My 4x/week workouts and daily dog walks dwindled down to maybe 1x, but only after some solid self-shaming. Shaming myself created more behavior to be ashamed of. I mean, what’s the point in trying, I had convinced myself. “Wow Julee, going to let all that progress slip away, AGAIN? What IS the point of all the effort when you will inevitably end up back on the couch sitting on your ass. Go ahead, eat ANOTHER cookie, that will help." A shame monster posing as an inspirational speaker… ugly and certainly not inspiring.


This went on for over a week and last night I thought about Brene Brown and what she says about Shame in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection. Shame wants you to keep the secret. To stay lonely in your pain. That is where it’s power lies. I became paralyzed by feelings of being deeply flawed and unworthy. The stories to back up this fear swirled in my mind, and I realized it is because I wasn’t talking to anyone about it. "Shame loves a perfectionist – it’s easy to keep us quiet." So, I am sharing my struggle with you today to shine a light on the shame cloud and take its power away. I can’t say this “fixes” anything, but I am making the intention now to see something, say something, and be gentle with myself.


If this story resonates with you at all, please find someone you trust to share your story with and release the hold of shame on your life. Through those storm clouds a rainbow will emerge. I love you!



I am Here As Love to be of support for you. Visit hereaslove.com to schedule your free call with me. I am here to listen in trust and with love.

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